Lila And The Professor

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Lila And The Professor[1]
In The Dark
Original Broadcast Date
Joe Frank
Absurd Monologue, Category:Narrative Monologue, 28 minutes
Preceded by: In A Lonely Place
Followed by: Streetwise

Lila always carries a big purse.

Lila And The Professor is a program Joe Frank produced as part of the series In The Dark. It was originally broadcast in 1995.


This episode is excerpts from all 3 parts of 'Iceland', the story of Lila, Professor Vogel, and Joe. It isn't all of the segments that involve Lila.

Joe tells of his relationship with his girlfriend, Lila, particularly what he dislikes: her huge purse which contains lots of stuff - she has to dump it all out to find what she's looking for; she's fussy in restaurants; has poor table manners; she loses things at the movie theatre, insists on searching while the movie plays.

She mistakenly gives Joe a letter from her mentor, Professor Vogel, who lives in Iceland, who is dying. He promises his estate to Lila if she'll visit once more before he dies. He describes their sexual relationship. After that Joe continues to read his letters to her, which describe their 'nights of passion'. He finds out she's visited him when she has told Joe she's at a conference.[1]

9:30: Joe recounts the dinner party at some of his oldest friends, how late Lila makes them. She's sympathizing with a neighbor whose husband left her; then, Lila's mother calls, distraught about her son's arrest for voyeurism in a women's bathroom at the Hilton. After that, she spends a lot of time on her makeup, then tries on different outfits, asking Joe what he thinks. Just after they get out the door, the phone rings: Professor Vogel has died; she's to come to the reading of the will. She describes their fieldwork with Bedouin tribesmen, everyone's passion for the work, his nursing of her after a scorpion sting.[2]

18:20: Oswald, Professor Vogel's assistant, meets them at the airport. Joe describes Vogel's estate and chalet. Vogel is in a block of ice, per his instructions.[3]

20:40: The lawyer arrives, reads the will. Lila gets almost everything.[3]

21:30: Lila tells Joe she had no idea she meant that much to him. They have to cancel their return tickets to have enough time to dispose of his estate.[3]

22:30: Joe, having nothing to do, walks the tundra.[3]

23:00: Joe finds Vogel's love letters to Lila all around the chalet. Joe reads some of the letters, all about how much Lila meant to him.[3]

26:30: Joe finds, 'our love making is becoming increasingly passionate.' despite 'We barely talk. Our relationship seems to hardly exist.'[3]

Legacy Synopsis
  • A description of Lila; her big purse, losing things, behavior in a movie theater and restaurant.
  • Joe finds Professor Vogel's love letters to Lila.
  • Trying to leave for a dinner party with Lila. She comforts a lonely neighbor, talks with her mother on the phone. Lila's exhibitionism.
  • They are told that Vogel has died, make plans to attend the funeral.
  • She describes working with him studying compulsive behavior in nomadic tribesmen.
  • Joe and Lila arrive to discover that Vogel has left her his estate.
  • Burial in ice.
  • They find love letters around the house.
  • A list of Vogel's works.
  • Making love in Vogel's house.


Shared material

This program is an abridged version of the signature narrative of Iceland.


  1. originally aired in Iceland (Part 1)
  2. originally aired in Iceland (Part 2)
  3. 3.0 3.1 3.2 3.3 3.4 3.5 originally aired in Iceland (Part 3)
  4. Online music services mislabel this track "Fragrance".