The Cruise

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The Cruise[1]
In The Dark
Original Broadcast Date
Joe Frank
Absurd Monologue, 25 minutes
Preceded by: Just A Closer Walk With Thee
Followed by: Hit Man

I was on a small luxury cruise ship, sailing from Ushuaia, on the tip of South America, to Antarctica.

The Cruise is a program Joe Frank produced as part of the series In The Dark. It was originally broadcast in 1994.


Joe tells of his Antarctic cruise, taken to get away from the difficulties of his life in LA, on an old cruise ship. A drunk young couple, Paul and Nancy, introduce themselves at the bar on the first night. They're unhappy with the cruise. Nancy flirts with Joe. Paul offers Joe their key. Joe keeps his distance. They set out from Ushuaia.[1]

The crew is Greek, the captain Constantine Kyriakos; Nikos, the steward, runs everything not nautical.

Paul, a junk-bond millionaire, tells of his travel adventures, disparages the other passengers, brags of his torrid sex with Nancy.

With Paul sick in harsh weather, Nancy talks to Joe alone, brags about her sexual adventures. She wants to have sex with the captain, does that night.

Nikos falls sick; Nancy and the captain's affair gets more exotic.

When the weather clears after a week, it turns out that Paul and Nikos both have appendicitis. A retired physician says Paul's symptoms are dire, need to be operated on before they can get to shore, but won't do it himself. Nikos volunteers, relying on his military service as a medic, using his model ship-building tools. The power goes out during the operation.

They land at Deception Island, site of a US weather station, the next night,[2] where Paul and Nikos are treated and Nancy goes off with a navy diver. The passengers tour a penguin rookery.

Nikos dies. Nancy stays with the diver. The others return on another ship.

20:00: Joe (no longer on the cruise) laments the injustices of life.

20:50: Joe's cold despite a blazing fire and heavy clothes. He looks in the mirror, sees snow on himself, signs of illness, considers operating on himself with kitchen utensils (including fried onion for his liver.)

Legacy Synopsis

On a cruise to Antarctica Joe meets a sexually adventurous couple, a woman has an affair with the captain, and an appendix operation is performed. Joe becomes cold and ill and performs an operation on himself.


Additional credits

The original broadcast credits state: "[C]reated in collaboration with Arthur Miller and David Rapkin. The story editor was Farley Ziegler. Recorded by Jerry Summers and Theo Mondle, and mixed by Theo Mondle. Special thanks to Jennifer Ferro."


  1. An actual Antarctic port used by cruise ships
  2. I find no evidence of US station on Deception Island, nor all the stuff that's in Joe's story.