Third World Country (Includes Raymond)

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Third World Country[1]
In The Dark
Original Broadcast Date
Joe Frank
Serious Monologue, Narrative Monologue, 59 minutes
Preceded by: Insomnia
Followed by: Hot Line

I first saw Raymond washing and waxing cars on my block.

Raymond and Third World Country is a program Joe Frank produced as part of the series In The Dark. It was originally broadcast in 1995. Raymond was originally broadcast as a half hour program.


Raymond, a homeless fellow, washes and waxes cars in Joe's neighborhood. He solicits Joe's business, asks $40. Even though Joe gets that done for $10 at a business up the block Joe hires Raymond to help him out.

He does a poor job so Joe fires him, but then lets him move in under his deck. Joe eventually throws his stuff in the alley, then imagines final scenarios in which Raymond returns, none of which happen.

27:00: 'Carlos Santiago' does a mic check over storm sounds. He speaks a few words of Spanish, sometimes calls it Arabic. He recites the 'Lord's Prayer', talks a lot of nonsense, calls himself crazy.[1]

31:00: Joe recalls living in Manhattan; he and his girlfriend Barbara, getting rid of her old clothes, invite a homeless guy who spends the night, steals a bunch of Joe's records.

37:30: Joe complains about the homeless in Santa Monica.

41:30: Joe tells of con artists who make up sympathetic stories to beg with.

43:30: Joe tells us he doesn't want to see or smell homeless people.

45:10: Some homeless people tell Joe their stories: finding crates of alcohol, being a dope fiend, rehab.

50:10: Joe says we're turning into a third-world country, remembers the beggars in Bombay who show off their stumps, the pile of dead babies they use as props.

52:30: Inspired by a beggar with a Rolex tattooed on his wrist Joe thinks up other tattoos: 'Louis Vuitton eyeglass frames tattooed on your face; the jewel-set gold-encrusted Byzantine crucifix suspended from a braided platinum chain tattooed around your neck; a bezel-set ruby and garnet tennis bracelet tattooed to your wrist; left-handed commemorative cufflinks; pearl-studded spat fasteners; decorative, gilt-edged corn holders; and Selwyn squeeze applicator-refabricating zones.'

53:50: Joe recalls going to the beach in Bombay with his friend Jack to get relief from the heat. They stumble onto a beach occupied by toothless old men looking to perform blowjobs.

56:00: On another night in Bombay they come upon a street full of Mercedes-Benzes owned by Arabs buying beautiful young women.

Legacy Synopsis

Joe's relationship to a homeless guy in the neighborhood who washes his car and does yard work. He then moves in behind his garage without Joe knowing at first. Joe tries to make Raymond move his belongings from behind Joe's garage by leaving a note, but then Raymond never returns. Joe puts his thing on the other side of the alley after several week. He then fantasizes about Raymond returning while Joe is in the shower, and what might happen. Will Raymond try to fight Joe? Will he ask for money? The Raymond segment Ends. Next, Someone delivers a nonsense monologue in English with mangled Spanish words mixed in, prays the Our Father. Next, Joe talks about inviting in a homeless guy. He used to be an electrician. He is form Hungary. Joe offers him his girlfriend's clothing that she is throwing out. They give him some leftover Chinese food, and he throws it up. They let him take a shower, and then they can see his face better; he looks sicker than when he was dirty. They play some records for him, and he falls asleep. Joe sleeps in the same room to make sure he does not do anything, but then discovers the next morning that he stole the records. Joe talks about finding the homeless unpleasant. An interview with a couple homeless guys on the street. One is from Mississippi, and he talks about how he found a crate of hard liquor one time, and him and his friends were drunk for a month straight. Joe talks about beggars he saw in India, and tattooing the images of valuable jewelry on one's skin. The beggars travel in packs and try to wear you down with sympathy. They use dead children they claim are their own, but they really come from a pile of dead children all the beggars use to get sympathy; and then money from tourists. Joe and his friend accidentally ended up on a beach where toothless men perform fellatio for money. Then they see a room full of girls in saris, some naked, and Arab men who pick the ones they want. Joe does not know if it is for a couple hours, the night, or the rest of their lives.



This program originally appeared as two half hour programs.


  1. originally aired in In The Dark (Part 2)