Stories For Nothing
|Work In Progress|
|Original Broadcast Date|
|Absurd Monologue, 54 minutes|
|Preceded by:||Emergency Room|
|Followed by:||Building A Church|
I have drunk gallons of Chablis, danced the samba, sat outside the casino in the hours before dawn...
Joe tells of his luxurious life in Monte Carlo, ending up telling of a guy whose image was burned into stone by the blast at Hiroshima, then a list of accomplishments: 'I have drunk gallons of Chablis...'. He repeats this list a few times in the show.
3:40: Joe tells of a guy who lives in a cave in Ios, a Greek island.
5:20: The guy travels in Afghanistan with his girlfriend Margo. They get dysentery, have to line up to use the outhouse, get terrible care at a hospital.
6:50: The couple is in Iran a month later. They see a garbage truck dump its contents on a village, the villagers pick out the good parts.
8:00: They're broke on Mauai, stay at a health club owned by a disbarred psychiatrist (he too too many 'LSD tablets'), run by Tommy K. Tommy holds a 'trial' for the psychiatrist for giving dope to teenagers, has him beaten up.
12: 'I have drunk gallons of Chablis...' again
14:40: 'Gide called the soul that particle of soil...' - nonsense monologue.
18:10: A dysfunctional family: drug addict father, schizophrenic son, daughter who ran off to live with an alcoholic painter, drop-out son who developed arthritis at 18, Vietnamese adoptee who didn't adjust. The mother tired of it, drove off, picked up a hippie couple, let them drive while she napped in back; hours later she figured out they had stopped for a broken red light all day, so she drove back home.
22:50: Journalist for a city magazine interviews the new police chief while terribly stoned. The chief's PC turns into a lamb, so the reporter leaves.
27: The journalist walks in Berkeley Hills park with others, walks behind an archery range.
30: 'I have drunk gallons of Chablis...' again
32: A guy plays fetch with a date's dog until the ball goes out the window, the dog after it, 10 stories up.
36:10: One Sunday morning in Santa Monica a TV producer gets jay-walking ticket, which he tears up and ignores. 2 years later, on his way to a shoot, a cop stops him for a busted tail-light, arrests him for the old warrant. His girlfriend is named Margo.
41:20: They (producer & Margo?) drive to a party in Hollywood Hills. The 'Nouveau Melrose Mickey Rourke' motorcycle gang confronts them ineffectively.
44:40: The guy walks in a small park in North Hollywood, watches some derelicts, a dead bird in a fountain, takes a taxi with a retired boxer cabbie.
47:10: 'I have drunk gallons of Chablis...' again
Repeated discordant monologue: Monte Carlo, a privileged life, living out of hotels, the spasms of the sphincter muscle, Flemish primitives, earthquakes, Hiroshima. Living in a cave off Greece, getting dysentery while traveling through Afghanistan, traveling through slums in Iran, putting a hotel owner on trial in Maui. Having forgotten one's life, never having said anything that didn't immediately seem untrue. A ruined suburban family: the mother runs off and discovers that she's spent a day stopped at a red light on the edge of town. A stoned newspaper man interviews the chief of police, strolls through an archery range. A man goes to meet a blind date, accidentally sends her dog out of a high window. A film director is arrested for an unpaid jaywalking ticket. A yuppie motorcycle gang crashes a party in a wealthy neighborhood. Wandering through LA at night.
- "World Rhythm - Part 5" - M Harre Harren (from World Rhythm - Afro-Percussion Beats) | YouTube [3:07]
The original broadcast credits state: "Technical production by Carey Breese."
- This is an old joke/urban legend; R. Crumb drew a comic version of it.