Bible Stories

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Bible Stories[1]
Somewhere Out There
Original Broadcast Date
David Franks,Joe Frank
Serious Monologue, 56 minutes
Preceded by: Joe Frank Live - Women Police Officers
Followed by: Last Show

The fact is that Joseph fell into a deep depression when his fiancee Mary became impregnated by God.

Bible Stories is a program Joe Frank produced as part of the series Somewhere Out There. It was originally broadcast on July 20, 1997.


This episode is all re-used content, from 'God only knows', 'Prayer', 'A natural disaster', and 'Bible salesman'.

Joe gives his account of the story of Joseph, father of Jesus, that Mary is bright and witty while Joseph is hesitant and withdrawn; he feels that Mary betrayed him with God. He becomes a drunk and a tramp. Joseph resents Jesus's success, suspects his 'miracles' are tricks, is secretly happy at the crucifixion.[1]

10:50: A crazy preacher (prankster David Franks) calls up a woman, wants to conduct a séance at her house that night.[2]

17:00: Joe tells of Adam & Eve from Adam's point-of-view.[1]

26:50: Crazy preacher (David Franks) calls person (sounds like a woman to me; preacher addresses him/her as 'brother'), leads him/her in a crazy prayer ('Clytemnestra's daughter ... African Eurasian tiger pussycat'...).[3]

35:20: 'I was on a raft, tied to a stake, drifting down the river...' Joe gives an account of surreal trip down the river; he sees hippos both in the river and sunning themselves on the shore, cutting a birthday cake made of tires. He sees kids hitting a piñata that looks like an old woman. He sees a newlywed couple coming out of a church; their car drives onto the sidewalk, running people over. A crowd stops the car, beats them, hangs them from lamp posts. Then they all laugh about it, bury the people they killed. He sees Jesus on waterskis, pulled by a fat man in a rowboat. Joe says he told this dream to his analyst. Joe walks into her closet, finds stairs that take him to the catacombs beneath Rome. He sees Jesus, still on his waterskis.[4]

44:00: Joe must find peace, speculates on odd places where he could find it.[4]

48:10: Random people praying; in 2013 reads, 'We hear a series of religious Dial-a-Prayers.' - it sounds like it.[2]

Legacy Synopsis

Joseph as a resentful father. Prank telephone spirit and prayer calls. First person account of Adam and Eve. Same material as Bible Salesman- ( Being tied to a stake on a raft drifting down a river in a surrealist jungle. An elderly woman as a pinata, a wedding party that ends in bloodshed. Unquenchable crying in a therapist's office. Finding the Roman catacombs behind a door and meeting Jesus in water skis. The search for enlightenment.) Preachers speak: the burden in an elevator, etc.


This is an incomplete record of the music in this program. If you can add more information, please do.

Shared material

Additional credits

The original broadcast credits state: "Created in collaboration with David Rapkin and David Franks. Technical production by Theo Mondle."


  1. 1.0 1.1 originally aired in God Only Knows.
  2. 2.0 2.1 originally aired in Prayer
  3. originally aired in A Natural Disaster, also used in Prayer
  4. 4.0 4.1 originally aired in Bible Salesman